I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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