Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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