Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
