Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
