Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
