Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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