What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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