He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
