Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Farmville is her only friend.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
