just tell him i said nine months
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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