yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
