you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
