watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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