legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
