tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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