Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
