U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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