you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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