The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
