I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
