Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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