well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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