just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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