Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
