HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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