What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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