i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Enjoy the penises
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
