Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
