i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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