I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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