you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
