Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
NoShamevember. You game?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
