I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
