Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
