I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
