we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I could fuck to npr.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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