Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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