So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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