I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
