Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
