im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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