we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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