Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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