yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
