why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I need to sanitize my soul.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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