Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
