we're blogging at a bar
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I have fence marks all over my body
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
