Do vagina's smell?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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