i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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