You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
