i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
