Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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